Human Hybrids

The definition of 'hybrid', acoording to dictionary.com is the offspring of two animals or plants (or humans) of different breeds, varieties, species, or genera, esp. as produced through human manipulation (or cross-breeding) for specific genetic characteristics.
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What do you get from a hybrid of Michael Jackson, King of Pop, world's most modified human.
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And Paris Hilton, Queen of media, world's horniest & most attention-seeking hotel heiress

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Dawn Yang, Queen of blogging, Singapore's most modified and attention seeking blogger.

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Now, what about a hybrid of Samy Vellu, Malaysia's Indian Leader (who has apparently lost the trust amongst majority of the Indians)
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And Snoop Dogg, world's most iconic hip hop / rap artiste

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Sasi the Don, Malaysia's No 1 reggae artiste... ya man, jah bless!

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Hybrid #3 -

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PLUS

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EQUALS

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Then, there's also the art of mixing the Jai Ho dance...

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And window cleaning

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Presenting, the Jai Ho window cleaning service, to find out more http://www.kennysia.com/archives/2009/04/the-jai-ho-danc.php

Work trip to Ipoh, Heineken Party at Sincero

We went on a working trip to Ipoh, which is about a 2 hour drive from KL.

For those who don't know, Ipoh derives its name from the a local tree called "pokok ipoh", whose poisonous sap was once used by the pre-Malay aboriginal population for their hunting darts.

Ipoh was also the administrative center for Perak during the Japanese occupation.

In the 1950s, Ipoh established a reputation as being a hedonistic hotspot for entertainment and night life with the proliferation of cabarets, nightclubs and theatre halls.

With the collapse of tin prices in the 1970s, the city went into decline. Various attempts at revitalizing the city has seen the establishment of Greentown Business Center, Medan Ipoh and a theme park, The Lost World of Tambun.


We were headed to Sincero Riverbank, which is situated beside The Lost World of Tambun.


This Saturday, there will be a Heineken UCL Party situated at Sincero Riverbank. So for those of you party goers in Ipoh who haven't RSVP'ed for the event, pls do so by texting
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IPHNK NAME IC EMAIL and SMS it to 36300
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ex. IPHNK DESMOND 812345-12-5432 desmond.kiu@gmail.com to 36300
* Standard telco charges apply
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Left to Ipoh from our office. And this is saying bye bye to Lee Fen & fourfeetnine
Off we went to Ipoh... and Ipoh we mari.

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Sunway city... a township we spotted in Ipoh on our journey

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And where we thought Sincero Riverbank was situated initially but after taking a round in that minute township, we couldn't locate Sincero.

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We saw Sunway College instead, to my surprise. But nothing fancy, just a little institution in a corner-lot shop.
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We finally found our way to Sincero 10 minutes after, its just a 1km up from Sunway City. There is a Giant located between Sincero & Sunway City. Apparently, Sincero is now the hostpot for night entertainment in Ipoh.

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They say - "vely vely happening". Ah hia, how to not happening? Back got mountain, front got river - Hong Jui very good ah.

But we weren't there to party, there to just make sure certain stuff were working, in preparation for the party on Saturday.

Chief Bartender, Justin.

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For those of you Ipohans who have been to Sincero, im pretty sure you've walked pass the door board, which describes this as a 'rave' party. So just to set the right expectations, it aint exactly a rave party but there will be lots of cold beer, Spaceship ft Goldfish performing, and people like Joey G (Heineken's ambassador) attending. So it will still be a fun night out.

This is probably a scene that is quite rare - Koh working from his laptop placed on a public rubbish bin.

And Edmund working from a Nestle Ice Cream bus stop... hehehe

Rum Jungle (or however you spell it) is re-launching an outlet in Ipoh, right infront of Sincero Riverbank. Now under reno. Wicked looking outlet.

There is one other thing that you can't miss doing in Ipoh. Its as important as eating hotdogs in the US, kobe beef in Japan, wine in Italy, tom yum in Thailand and beef in Australia.

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In Ipoh, its known for its white chopped chicken (direct translation from Chinese) and bean sprouts. They call it - nga choi kai (bean sprout chicken) in the Cantonese dilect.

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A favourite shop amongst the local community that serves the nga choi kai is this shop called low wong (old wong) which basically refers to the owners name, who's first name is 'Wong' and is probably an elderly man. Hence 'low' for respect.

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So if Obama was in Ipoh, they'd probably call him - low ba ma

Nizar victorious in Bukit Gantang, More pressure on Najib

Datuk Seri Nizar Jamaluddin, the ousted mentri besar of Perak was victorious in tonight's by-election in Bukit Gantang. Congratulations!

PR won with a majority of 2,789 votes compared with 1,566 in last year's general election.

This is a referendum on who the people of Perak want as the state government.

As such it is high time, as a new prime minister, to do the right thing for democracy in Malaysia by ensuring that the people of Perak get a government they have themselves elected by dissolving the parliament and calling for fresh elections

Najib has been speaking the language of reform, of building a performance based nation and committed himself to building a democracy responsive to the needs, aspirations and concerns of all Malaysians.

So do what you have committed in your maiden speach..... Be a man, DO THE RIGHT THING!

Formula 1 Malaysian Grand Prix

I wrote a blog not too long ago about 3 signs / symptoms of being a blogger. Just recently, i had another encounter with these very interesting signs, a new sign this time actually.

4) Symption #4 - You use the camera in the opposite direction.


Anyway, these were the 2 peeps i went to F1 with, Huai Bin & Debbie. 18 years old college chic. I was telling Debbie that its been years since i went out with an 18 year old. She wasn't sure if that was a compliment....... paranoid that she's wearing bracers & talking too much.... but i meant it as one - i enjoyed the energy. Pleasure meeting you Debbie
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Thanks to LG, i had the chance to experience F1 in Sepang. By the way, i just hit another milestone in my life. LG addressed me "Dear Blog Partner,". To be honest, i wasnt quite used to it... LOL... Blog Partner?


There was a live Jamiroquai performance too and we attended their con.... poster, we missed the concert ... T___T (Fourfeetnine thought me this)

Man i was counting my lucky balls with new sightings, i had another experience with blogger symptom #3 - you are always with the camera, its like you can sense the lenses, even when you are on something else. Out of 2 sightings, both are women so there could be a gender exemption.

Below are some pictures of the race track. I was at C2 in the hillstand and it was a direct view of the grand stand and the final few curves before the machines thunder pass the grand stand & trigger a cheering crowd.

Now will the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up.

Somebody put a comment on my chatbox thinking he was fuckin "Bob the Builder" ..LOL

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And this, the amazing 18 years old.

As opposed to popular believe that FI race tracks are always like a burning heat pool, this race i went to was actually cloudy & polluted with rain clouds. It would have been cool to be chillin at the grass tho but too far a walk, so we stayed put. Lucky we did coz it poured later.

Few more pictures before it rains....

Poured cats and dogs....

And the crowd loved it, because the machines paced down for photo ops. ..

And i still cant figure why the crowd cheered when the safety car rounded the track. I was swearing leperchauns at the safety car instead.. lol it means no more race for now

As the tracks continue to be empty, i started to get really impatient. Especially with the muddy & slippery grounds... water started to flow out from the drains into the mud so it got really fucked up. But the crowd was still very high spirited, they even did a Mexican wave which i eagerly participated in - lol virgin mah...

Nuffnang Music Bash '09

Last night, i was invited by Nuffnang to attend my 2nd 'blogger-party'. Sounds very technical..... but it isnt exactly what it sounds like.

They dont hold it in cyber-cafes and invite a bunch of bloggers to congregate and see who can type faster... i mean i cant imagine spending my saturday night blogging in a cyber cafe, id be really fucked if i do that.

It was instead held at Maison, near the Asian Heritage Row in KL. And instead of blogging, i had an FHM columnist (dressed up as a fireman in a music bash?) getting my ass checked on my way in. I wanted to ask if i could return the favour.......


maybe next time, judging from who she came to the party with ;) Yo Shaolin Lion, now take it easy man, put that gun down.

I got in.

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And bumped into other bloggers, like Huai Bin. Man i swear if he didn't tell me who he was trying to impersonate, i'd still be guessing now.... Chow Yun Fatt? John Travolta?

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no... Eminem

And no wonder he won a broom from being the worst impersonator LOL.. im just rubbin it in Mr sixtseal.com! lol...

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Fourfeetnine was like "haaaaaaaaaa? which part of you is like Eminem?"

Huai Bin then quickly pulled out his hand gun, pointed it like a nigga and fourfeetnine quickly confirmed.

My colleagues Mehlin & Yvonne. Yvonne gets paranoid about having food stuck on her bracers in pictures so she doesnt risk having her mouth taken in pictures. This is called Foodonbracers-phobia.

Tiah Ewe Tiam, Asia's young entrepreneur of the year.

After completing the peoples session, i went to check out what was happening on the stage. Liang was shouting his lungs out in a hip hop outfit and consistently putting on a Kazhakstan accent - he must have watched Borat earlier. He was hillarious though

I was at the VIP area, a level above ground floor where the stage was, so i could zoom my camera into anyone. I picked out this bunch of people who were particularly flamboyant and eye catching. Looked like the Knights In Satanic Service (KISS)

Shaolin Tiger is so tall you hardly get to see anything above his forehead. I did.

Huai Bin was trying real hard to redeem himself through the night - he raped & he shuffled and i must say it wasnt bad at all, but he still got the broom.. lol

Someone else came as Bob Marley... yeah no woman no cry.

I later in the night found out that the person behind Bob Marley is actually a PHD student, somebody on the way to obtain professorship... Dr Bob Marley

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PHD in what?

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Blogging. Yes, PHD is blogging.

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Man, bloggings became so big they're offering PHD courses in blogging.

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Next thing you know, there'll be PHD courses in Twitting & Facebooking.

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These were the few people who bothered to dress up and were called up on the stage - Pink, Lady Gaga, Britney, Eminem, Bob & John Lennon.

Cindy, who's Britney, was in an extreme cheer-leeders mood, when i came down to the stage, i heard nobody but her screaming away.

She event felt a lil horny she got on stage to flex her mid-rift... very kinky

LOL and this guy... guess who.

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Elvis Presley..... i thought he should have won the broom instead

"Made in Malaysia" masterpiece from RPK

Raja Petra Kamarudin

What do foreign investors face when they come to Malaysia? How do they overcome the government bureaucracy and the many rules imposed on foreign investors? Imagine this typical scene in a government department when a movie producer tries to get approval to shoot a documentary in Malaysia.

Excuse me, but I’m wondering if you could help me.
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Tengok itu. (The officer points to a sign on the wall that says: GUNAKAN BAHASA MALAYSIA).
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I’m sorry. I don’t understand.
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Mesti guna Bahasa Malaysia.
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I’m sorry, but I’m an American. I don’t understand the local language.
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Must use Bahasa Malaysia. Not American language. I cannot speak American.
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But we don’t have an American language. We speak English.
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Oh. Why don’t you get your Bumiputera partner to come if you cannot speak Bahasa Malaysia?
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I don’t have a Bumiputera partner.
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How can? All foreign companies that do business in Malaysia must have Bumiputera partner.
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But we are not doing business in Malaysia. We do business in America. I am here to find out how to get a permit to shoot a documentary in Malaysia. We are a movie company.
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Oh. You want to make a movie in Malaysia. Very good. Malaysia has plenty of history and culture. Good place to make a movie. You must show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
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No, it is not that kind of documentary. We are making a documentary about the murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu.
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Aiyah! Cannot mention that name. That name banned.
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Banned?
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Yes. Government ban anyone mentioning the name Altantuya.
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Oh. Then how do we address that?
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I don’t know her address. Maybe you ask the Mongolian Embassy.
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No, I don’t mean her address. How do we solve the problem of her name?
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Altantuya Shaariibuu can’t be used. But you can use Aminah Abdullah. That name not banned by government.
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Okay then. I want to make a documentary about the brutal murder of Aminah Abdullah.
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That one okay. Government can approve. But you must also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
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But those have nothing to do with the documentary. The documentary is about the murder of Altan…..
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Ah, ah, ah….
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Sorry, I mean Aminah Abdullah.

Why you can’t also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie?

Okay, maybe I can show some clips of the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in the documentary.

Good. But must show the Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur okay? Cannot show in Melaka like that Sean Connery movie, Entrapment. Our PM was very angry. He said the foreigners distort the truth.Okay.

The Twin Towers will be shown in KL.

And also the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region.

Okay, I will also show the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in KL.

No, the Penang Bridge is in Penang and the Iskandar Development Region is in Johor.

Okay, I will take note of that.

And what about the songs?

Songs?

Yes, must show some local songs.But this is a documentary about the murder of Al…….

Ah, ah, ah.……

Aminah Abdullah.

But can still show some local songs even if the story is about a murder. You must show Siti Nurhaliza singing. At least two songs.Okay, we shall show City what’s her name….

Siti Nurhaliza.……

City Nurlaziha singing……

Nurhaliza.

Nurhaliza singing two songs.

Good, good. And what about Umno history?

Umno history?

Yes, must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka from the British.

But what’s that got to do with the murder?

You must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka. If not government can’t approve.

Okay, I shall show the Umno history and how Umno fought for….fought for….Merdeka.….Merdeka from the British.

Good. And don’t forget to also include the new PM’s speech.

New PM’s speech?

Yes, Najib Tun Razak.

What has his speech got to do with the movie?

Must show. Must show new PM declare he never met that Mongolian woman.

You mean Aminah Abdullah?

No, PM just said he never met that Mongolian woman. He never mention any name. Must show that speech in the movie.

Okay, we will show that as well. Do I take it if I agree to all those terms I can get permission from the Malaysian government to shoot the documentary in Malaysia?

You got Bumiputera partner?

No.

Must have Bumiputera partner. See list here. You must choose one Bumiputera partner from this list.

Okay, I will choose a Bumiputera partner from this list.

And must give 70% contract to local Bumiputera companies.

I don’t understand. What contracts?

70% of your work must be done by Bumiputera companies.

But we don’t need local participation. We shall be bringing our entire crew from the States.

But make sure not from Pakatan states. That one government can’t approve.

Pakatan states?

Yes. Penang, Selangor, Kedah and Kelantan.

No, I mean our entire crew will be brought in from the United States of America.

Cannot.

Must have 70% local. Only 30% from America.

Okay, I will try to squeeze that requirement in.

And which state you want Datuk?

Excuse me. I don’t get that.

You make movie about Malaysia you can get Datuk. Which state you want? Can choose.

Oh, I don’t think I’m interested in Datuk, whatever that is.

Aiyah, people pay RM250,000 for Datuk. Why you don’t want? You make movie on Malaysia can get Datuk free. No need pay RM250,000.

Okay, throw in the Datuk for free then.

Okay, we will arrange Melaka Datuk for you. Where you shoot the movie?

In Selangor.

Aiyah, Selangor cannot. That is Pakatan state. Choose another state.

But the murder happened in Selangor so we need to shoot the documentary where the murder happened.

Selangor cannot. If Pakatan state, government cannot approve. You shoot in Melaka. Melaka very historical.

Okay, okay, we’ll go along with what you want. Is there anything else I need to know?

When you launch movie the First Lady must be invited.

The Queen?

No, not Queen. Rosmah Mansor.

Will she come to the premier?

Of course. If Shahrukh Khan go, she will go.

But Shahrukh Khan is not in the documentary.

Why not? He is very popular in Malaysia and First Lady like him. He also got Melaka Datuk like you. Must show him in movie.

Look, can I come back to you on that? We shall have to decide whether we still want to shoot this documentary in Malaysia.

No problem. When you already decide you come again to see me. We welcome all movie companies to Malaysia and will extend our cooperation and help you. Foreigners always welcome in Malaysia.