Thursday, February 26, 2009

Starbucks! Now in Bekenu, Miri

I bet you've never heard of Miri, let alone Bekenu.

Miri's my hometown! And is where the historical Mulu Caves are. The experience of being in the Mulu Caves is overwhelming. Imagine an area of caves. AND. It's as big as Singapore. Yes, although Singapore is not even noticeable in the world map, but still - its substantial

300K+ population, tallest building which would be the Imperial Mall is not more than 30 stories. Alot of pubs around but everybody goes to only 1 pub, which is the Balcony. To alot of Mirians, going to Balcony is like a place where you can meet the Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolies of the world and they dress up like their dads gonna think they're goin to a ball at midnight. And the Japanese culture has creaped into them but they're failing miserably.

And so all the other pubs live on renting their chinese bar staffs to the public. Mirians just dont know how to promote competition to benefit themselves eventually.

Mirians.... SIGH.... like to go to politician open houses during CNY to get free food & ang pows & watch FREE lion dances trying to keep their balance on the stilts. So thats why BN reigns supreme in this part of the country, coz they fucking distribute free food and give ang pows and call up the lion dances... MAN, if i was politician, id be CM of Sarawak.

But Miri is the place i wanna be when im raped by my clients. Because its by the coastal area so you can eat, drink, party, have sex at the beach and i wake up to food on the table and i dont get stuck in traffic jams and i dont pay parking tickets, i can just not give a fuck about anything.... so Miri as you're trying to imagine now, isnt that bad afterall.

ANYWAY, to my point..... i mean what the Title suggests.

Bekenu has a population of not even 6 digits and 99% of that 5 digits you cant even see. Coz they live in the farms, by the sea and in the plantations. The city centre has not more than 10 blocks of shops and they're all 2 stories tall. And half of them are not opened.

But what the fuck is Starbucks doing there...


60 comments:

Boss Stewie said...

Tan Sri Vincent Tan must have very aggressive plans to have a Starbucks in every corner of Malaysia.

Suet Li said...

hahhaha eh yeah i've never heard of berkenu before!
eh shit bekenu also spell wrongly

Jia Meei said...

setarbak kopi HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA now all they need is a logo

Boss Stewie said...

hey.. suet... jia meei? funny seeing you girls here.. didn't know the both of you read desmondkiu.blogspot.com too

cheesie said...

HAHHAHA this is like the funniest entry on this blog!!!

I also got some funny pic from Shanghai i wanna blog!

Boss Stewie said...

Cheesie?? You read desmondkiu too???

fourfeetnine said...

hahahaha desmondkiu is gaining popularity ok wtf

Robb said...

the next top blogger~!

cheesie said...

Boss Stewie: are you crazy? This is my fav blog ok. (after cheeserland.com what turf).

Suet Li said...

yaya i got read desmondkiu.blogspot.com one! i didn't u read too! i've heard about u before..u are the boss of the nuff something right? *shy
desmondkiu.blogspot.com damn nice to read la! bekenu setarbak so funny hahahha

Jia Meei said...

yes i do! desmondkiu.blogspot.com is my daily staple :)

Brangelina said...

Wow! Have sex on the beach sound so stimulating! Is it your fantasy?

Boss Stewie said...

Cheesie: Wow.... shit man.... didn't know so many people read Desmondkiu. I'm trying to get him to sign an exclusive with Nuffnang but he tarik harga la that fella.

suet: hahaha yes...yes.. Nuffnang ... I know you too.. you're the fehmes suet li and barry rite

jia meei: yeah.. desmondkiu.blogspot.com is my homepage

Oli said...

Haha every post you seem to hit the nail RIGHT on the head! Genius!

Jia Meei said...

what a good idea tim! i shall change desmondkiu.blogspot.com to my browser homepage too

Boss Stewie said...

jia meei: you mean you don't already have it as your homepage? recent computer survey found that 78% of Malaysian internet users have desmondkiu.blogspot.com as their browser homepage.

Suet Li said...

yala jiameei! i had it as my homepage the day desmond started blogging! and never looked back ever since ;)

Boss Stewie said...

Suet: Yeah you know what they say right... "once you've had "Kiu", you never go back"

Jia Meei said...

oh no what have i been missing all these while??? *ashamed

Nicholas Chay said...

I wish they have a member card like coffee bean where you can load cash credit in. Bekenu must be an interesting place!

cheesie said...

i still refuse to put desmondkiu.blogspot.com as my homepage. I've had cheeserland.com as homepage for 5 years d ma.

Ok la i will make desmondkiu.blogspot.com my IE Browser's homepage la.

KY said...

Hahah that's cool. I actually went to Miri several times in my previous job, usually stay at Mega or whatever that sorry ass hotel is called. :/

I miss the seafood

Li Tat said...

Speaking of which there was once I told the cab driver to take me to PBD's Starbucks, and he took the route to Setapak

Darren Lee said...

FYI,desmondkiu.blogspot.com advertorial paid in $USD$

Drea said...

Wow, what a great blog to stumble onto randomly!

I wonder if Setarbak Kopi also sells ferapakinos?

Boss Stewie said...

I hear desmondkiu charges RM5,000 per advertorial

Huai Bin said...

I've been to Balcony. I lost my digicam and cell phone there after an unfortunate incident. :S

Cheery Berries below is more chilled out.

LOL @ photo. Nice one!

It's great meeting up with you that day mate!

陈一豪 said...

Wow!! 300k is like... totally phenomenal omfg you didn't just say that!

I've always been a silent reader all this year Desmond I'm your number 1 fansi!!!!

Boss Stewie said...

hey did anyone notice that desmondkiu said "FUCK" in this entry??? desmond tsk tsk.. shame on you.. think of all the children that view you as their role model

ShaolinTiger said...

Wah the sign green and white some more, dont play.

This one pro VVIP Starbucks.

Boss Ming said...

I've been your long awaited silent majority reader.

Here I am!!!

Boss Stewie said...

Wah didn't know so many other people read desmondkiu

des said...

Now guys, im quite used to getting 2 comments with 2% of the blogs i write and the remaining 98% are most probably unread. LOL, so this is a lil too overwhelming for me ill prolly loose my job if i reply the proper way .. like you know, how other bloggers do it -

Boss Stewie: Yes, Vincent's aggressive plans to setup Starbucks in the rural areas of East MY will gain him massive returns

Suet Li: Oh you've never heard of Bekenu? My God, thats where Brad Pitt was born. That's why he's got blonde hair, something he got from the monkeys

Jia Meei: OH YES, they need a LOGO!!!!

NOW can you imagine i just replied 3 ppl?

Boss Stewie said...

it's okay desmond... we know fehmes bloggers don't get to reply all their readers' comments

Racheal Tan said...

Hahahhaha, idiot Des! Floating there huh? :p

kennysia said...

Ya man, and we have a third Starbucks outlet opening in Kuching within a span of two years. Who would've thought Kuching ppl so rich can spend RM10 on a cup of coffee!

suiinn said...

Didn't see that coming ;)

Kimberlycun said...

wah fehmes....lansi dy lah!

ahlost said...

Owhh.. I thought the pic is in Indonesia when I was showed this pic. didn't know it's in bekenu :D

roger said...

Mmmm... rentable Chinese bar staff.

Chio or not?

j|g said...

haha! we used to picnic and 'pukat' at bekenu.... love the beach there.

des said...

Boss Stewie: Man, that sounds like Lamb Stewie to me.... use Tim lah =) Btw, thanks for making me a bigger looser now. Now ppl think i asked for this

Suet Li: Hi, i know you but you dont know me. And not because im a pervert but i read your blog for work.

Cheesie: Hello! And thanks for being so honest.

Fourfeetnine says WTF to desmondkiu gaining popularity. Thanks!

Brangelina: Yes its my ultimate fantasy, im still a virgin

KY: Hello dude, yeah its Mega Hotel. A hotel which foundation was built to sustain a 14 storey building. They made it 4 storeys taller. So buy insurance before your next stay ;)

Darren: Yes, USD1.5K / advertorial. And it fluctuatates depending on how busy i am at work

Huai Bin: Good to meet you too mate!

Shaolin: How do you say flower bridge in cantonese?

Boss Ming: How much did Tim pay you?

Racheal says idiot des. Thanks!

Kenny: Kuching ppl rich... but all the money is kept in the 'white hair' bank. And its not withdrawable.

Kim: No lah, not fehmes lah... im still applying to be a columnist in FHM

Joel said...

ever since I found this blog, it's been my No.1 MOST FAV SITE of all time! I Read it day in, day out, during work, lunch, hell! Even bring laptop to ****** and continue reading!

Anonymous said...

"Alot of pubs around but everybody goes to only 1 pub, which is the Balcony. To alot of Mirians, going to Balcony is like a place where you can meet the Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolies of the world and they dress up like their dads gonna think they're goin to a ball at midnight." -------> Is that how you think or how every Mirians think? Sounds like you're stereotyping. Get your facts right before you try to accuse or belittle Mirians. I don't think Balcony is the only place Mirians go. Maybe its because you've never been to any other club besides Balcony in Miri? Plus everyone who goes clubbing knows that its ok to dress up! You're CLUBBING. Have you seen anyone in KL go clubbing dressed down?

Cynthia said...

hahahahaha WTF.

and who are those 3 people sitting outside there like that! workers or customers! :p

Anonymous said...

hi, get to know u 4rm kennysia!

i know where bekenu is! if u wanna go upriver 2 d ulu areas have 2 get 4wd 4rm miri to bekenu n onto long loyang/long san. dat place is like the last civilised area b4 u go into the unknown world of ruthless roads and crazy timber truck drivers...

alyshä said...

i'm from Miri too! I've got relatives in Bekenu, I'll get them to give me their verdict on SETARBAKs hahahahahha

On Mirians being dressed up to club.. most of them are either too casual or too skanky.

kennysia said...

Wah! Desmond is becoming a femes blogger!

Now, with anonymous flamers!

;)

Anonymous said...

aiya desmond kiu...u xiasoi mirians jak...tat place in beranang la not bekenu!!
p/s: by the way u been to bekenu not?? :P

Anonymous said...

read this link http://www.malsingmaps.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=2226

Anonymous said...

I was born bekenu, stay bekenu...never saw that before..hurm..

des said...

Hi Mr Anonymous flamer, (as Kenny puts it)

Now im sorry my dear. I know how it feels to dress up and look good when you go out clubbing, just mind me coz im just a looser who's too old to dress up

And when i say everybody goes to Balcony, it means its the most popular place in Miri. It's like ppl say "everybody knows Obama" even my priest talks about him in the church sermon. But ppl who live in the slums of India got no TV, they dont know Obama... So take it easy girl, dont take things too literally

And whoever asked me if ive ever been to bekenu, answer is yes almost every week when i was in miri. Its bout an hours drive and we go there for the TUTU fish

lv said...

haha... hey there, i'm from miri too. i used to received an email about this SETARBAKs in bekenu before too. looks like it is gaining its popularity now. been to bekenu once, also for the TUTU fish. hmmm, i've no comment bout balcony though cos i never been there :p i rather go SETARBAKs! hahaha....

Shenesse Chieng said...

Suet Li: Oh you've never heard of Bekenu? My God, thats where Brad Pitt was born. That's why he's got blonde hair, something he got from the monkeys

Pitt was born in Shawnee, Oklahoma. (Wikipedia)

??????? So which 1 is true??

des said...

lv: yeah nothing beats the TUTU fish! According to my old man, TUTUs had a horrible demand back in the days because its tasteless. You know, back then they had salt and pretty much nothing else. So that was pretty much shit fish back then but its amazing how its evolved to become such a sought-after, premium, high priced fish.

Shenesse: I meant that as a racist joke :) Sorry if it sounded to real ;)

DeePo said...

that setarbak kopi if not mistaken is around selangor area...not bekenu la....

DeePo said...

desmond...i think u just copied the picture from other blogs...bcoz i've seen this picture all around the blogoshpere...

it's not even in sarawak....

stevetan; aiping said...

so famous ah!! can quit your job liao!!

des said...

yo deepo i think you've just copied your comment from other comments.. because ive seen this comment all around the blogosphere

aiping: cannot man, too many flamers here, i feel more at peace at work

KY said...

wah so many comments here, top blogger Desmond Kiu very popular!