Now here's a topic which is very close to me, besides socio-politics, as i feed on the digital media industry.
Facebook is an app that has taken the world by storm, now with 200million registered users. 30% of them US citizens and rest, from everywhere else in the world.
I reckon it was a top 10 buzzword in Malaysia, in 2008. In that full year alone, its grown from 100K registered users to now hovering around 2 million. Incredible, mindblowing growth but not surprising.
In 2008, word of mouth about Facebook was tremendous... it was like an epidemic. Advertisers like Maxis and Media owners like Hitz.FM subsequently rode on the Facebook bandwagon and blew it in the mainstream media further propelling the steeply surging growth.
Facebook is now an everyday dosage to many. Research showed that an average Malaysian would log on Facebook twice a day and spend 42 minutes in total. Facebook is becoming the Tomogochi (or however you spell that device which lets you fucking feed a virtual pet) of yerterday.
Facebook has also been constantly revamping its site, keeping up with new trends like Tweeting - making their homepage look homogeneus to a Twitter homepage. It's introduced a chat bar now too which i believe many are using. Well, why not? with the 240M injection of funds from MSN.... funny thing is MSN is not even selling Facebook in Malaysia, despite terms stating otherwise. Worse for MSN is, Facebook's value has depreciated from 15B to 10B... Microsoft, Microsoft.... they're just sooooo trying to catch up with the other web players. If i start talking about Google, Microsoft will be like a Burma of the world.
Anyway, Facebook has just recently taken on a Russian investor injecting 200M into its coffers (article below) Mark says that its just gonna be a cushion for the turmoil but i think they got something up their sleeves.
Facebook also resumes to crack their brains hard on monetizing its platform which is visited by 60M Americans. This is again another topic im very fond of. I've spoken to many about the future of monetizing social media and ive heard from many ppl from many different perspectives.
Some say its time to look to the east, Some say they will find a suitable revenue model, Some say they will make you take on a subscription fee when it eventually becomes a way of your life (like your mobile phone), Some say they will take on transactions or some other models and profit from it and many other perspectives from different addicts of the industry.
Now enough of selling Facebook, here's the article from adage...
NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Facebook will get some help dealing with its already-commanding international presence from a Russian investor group, which today took a $200 million stake in the social network that valued Facebook at $10 billion. The money will also provide what CEO Mark Zuckerberg called a cash "buffer" in difficult economic times.
Social network's global growth has been rapid, and while it's had a hard time figuring out how to turn its U.S. visitors into revenue, it now has to figure out what to do with all the international visitors that have signed up in the past year as well.
Of course, the investment also means Facebook is valued less today than in summer 2007, when Microsoft pumped in $240 million at a $15 billion implied valuation. But Mr. Zuckerberg argued that Microsoft's investment was made near the market peak and was part of a multifaceted business relationship that included an advertising deal and an agreement to work together on search.
"That was a strategic relationship with a lot of different components," Mr. Zuckerberg said on a conference call. "It was a year and a half ago, and it was a different world at the time."
Multiple revenue modelsDigital Sky Technologies, which holds stakes in Russian portal Mail.ru and social network Vkontakte.ru, got a 1.96% preferred equity stake in the company for its cash and also said it agreed to buy "at least" another $100 million of Facebook stock from current and past employees.
Mr. Zuckerberg said Facebook chose DST because it has investments in several overseas social networks, all with different business models, such as advertising and direct payments.
Facebook has more than 200 million registered users, 70% of which are outside the U.S. Overseas audiences are a tough sell for advertisers, but Facebook is testing a payments system that would help it tap one area of business that is growing internationally: the sale of virtual goods.
"Payments are not a large part of the business so far, but we believe it could be in the future," he said.
Employees cash outThe deal will allow Facebook employees to cash out at least some of their sizeable stakes, which some have been trying to do for some time. Mr. Zuckerberg declined to comment on a Wall Street Journal report that those shares would be purchased at a $6.5 billion valuation, indicating a big gulf between employee-held stock and preferred stock.
"As a private company, there is no market in our shares, so it's tough to say what a valuation would be," he said. "It is accurate to say the common stock would be different from this because there aren't any preferences."
DST, led by former Mail.ru CEO Yuri Milner and two other partners, won't join the Facebook board and won't be given "special observer rights" to the board's activities. Mr. Zuckerberg said the investment doesn't affect Facebook's plans for an initial public offering, rumored for some time. "It's not something we're thinking about right now and not something we're rushing towards," he said.
Mr. Zuckerberg stressed that the investment is a cushion and is not required for Facebook to reach its goal of becoming cash-flow positive in 2010. Facebook is expected to earn $500 million in revenue in 2009 and has more than 850 employees.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Improve quality of education
Hello!
a
It's been a while since i updated my blog so here I am. I've not thought of any interesting content over the last few days so i'll be blogging about a topic i discussed with a friend of mine through lunch. It's about the quality of education in Malaysia which is horrendous, provokes social segregation, racially provocative, cultivates a narrow mindset, discourages expressions and personal opinions, profiled, confusing and doomed to fail.
a
You will pick up all the points as i bring you through my true experience of education right from primary school. Pls mind my language as sometimes, the truth can be painful. But here's the ultimate truth
a
The point of writing this blog is really just a voice to criticize the quality of education in Malaysia. For the good of the country, the educational stucture must be relooked into, revamped and made competitive to world standards. And it is very critical that it be looked into as education is key in shaping a progressive society and culture, and this is crucial in a developing country like Malaysia.
a
Anyway, here goes....
a
I was enrolled into a missionary school when i was 7 for 3 reasons i believe, although i've never clarified with my parents.
a
First, the school was a 10 minutes walk from my parents office so everyday after school, I would walk with a bunch of friends to the office so our parents could avoid the massive after-school traffic. The 'bunch of friends' are sons and daughters of my parents collegues and we were made to be friends with each other through parties, beach BBQs and many other social activities our parents orgazine, so we could look out for each other in school.
a
Secondly, its a Catholic missionary school so we would pray every morning before the school served us biscuits and milo for breakfast. Im a born Catholic so my parents probably wanted me to practise the religion or at least grow up in such an environment.
a
Thirdly, it was one of the 2 missionary schools in town (the other one an anglican missionary school) that produces the more academically qualified students who will mostly graduate in a foreign university and have a relatively higher status than the majority.
a
Now I will talk about the educational system i experienced when i was in 'primary' school (term for education given to minors who are between the ages of 7 - 12) to as much as i can recall. In grade 1, because my mum knew the school principal, i was enrolled into 1A. There were many subsequent classes - 1B, 1C.... until 1F or something.
a
In grade 1, the classes were sort of profiled but not totally. Every class had a mixture of Chinese and "Iban/Malays" or what we call the "lakia". These were the 'bumiputeras' (mainlanders) whom our Chinese parents term the secondary race and they were always used as examples of the "what not to dos" like not flushing the toilet after use, or not showering at least twice a day, or digging your nose in public, or even having bad hair and skin.. and all the bad habits. You do it, your parents will call you "lakia" (And just to be fair to the "lakia"s, they called us Chinese the 'Cina Babi', or just 'Cina')
a
But, you will see that 1A will have a high ratio of Chinese over the lakias and 1F will probably have 100% lakias. This is pretty much all i can remember from 7 - 9 as I clearly recalled that most of my 'friends' (sons and daughters of my parents colleagues) were in my same class.
a
When i was 10, that was when i was in grade 4A, the classes became totally profiled. 4A will cater for the brighest students in the school, while 4F will host the not as bright. By this year, my class had almost 85% Chinese, 10% Malays and 5% Ibans and Indians. Im not implying that the 85% race were smarter but its a genuine statistic and I grew up with it.
a
In grade 4, i have a memory of an incident when a 'teacher' pinched me in the abs and eventually punched me i lost my breath for almost 1 solid minute, my face turned pale. I was punished for having an opinion to his lecture. He did it to a few of my other 'friends' and because we look out for each other, all of us will eventually get the pincher and puncher. It was a warning that in his lectures, we were to shut up, listen and take notes - not a fucking noise. Let alone an opinion.
a
In grade 6, i became a prefect. I was then very rebellious, mischevious and did not create a very good reputation for myself but i was still made a prefect because my elder brother and mum had an influence on the decision (same case when i eventually became prefect in Form 5). Anyway, besides having to wear a tie and being given an opportunity to stand at the very back during assemblies - so we boys could stare at whichever hottie and their asses - i dont recall much.
a
In 'secondary' school (term for education to teens between the ages of 13 - 17), things became more interesting.
a
In form 1 (secondary school year 1), the classes were again academically profiled. 1A will host all the students who scores all A's in their major examination in primary school (UPSR) or at least almost all A's. 1F will host students with the worst results.
a
Entering secondary school was also pretty fun for us because the school had more sports facilities - like a baseball pitch, football field, basketball court, volleyball court and so on. And sorry for stereotyping again but the basketball court + volleyball courts will always be populated by the Chinese while the lakia's play football on the field and get all muddy and stuff.
a
Form 3 was when we sit for a major examination called the PMR and this is also a very significant year for most of my schoolmates as they started to explore and found their first girlfriends and boyfriends. Speaking about this, i remembered a Chinese friend of mine, who was a prefect. He fell in love with a Malay girl who was very sweet and intelligent. He was warned by the school that doing so would set a bad example to the other students so he was given an ultimatum to drop the girlfriend or drop the post. Well at that age, most definitely, he went for the girl.
a
In Form 3 was also when our Malay history teacher instilled racial elements into her lectures. She once told the class (which had a good mixture for Christians, Muslims and Buddhists) that "only Christianity and Islam are true religions. Buddhism is statue idolization"
a
Form 3 - Form 5 was the most memorable years of all as there were many first experiences. We also got very mischevious with the 'teachers'. The better ones will earn our respect from the second he/she steps into the class while the average ones will either survive because they're hot or face the mischief from us.
a
One of our teachers, i clearly remember, was called Mr Ivan. He was in his 60's so due to the generation gap, we could hardly relate to him. He got it from us. At one event, we grinded chalk in our drawers until they turn to powder. We gather all the powder in between an A4 paper and roll it up until it looks like a cylinder. We will hold an end to our mouth and blow the chalk on his ass after he walks by our desks - he loves walking around the class. Every class, we wanted to give him like 6 dosages of powder on his ass. Well it only took 1 attempt before he found out - we were punished to stand on the table for 2 hours and chew paper.
a
Another teacher, a lady also in her 60's, was referred to as Ultraman. It took me quite a few months, after calling her that, before i got curious why she was called "Ultraman". And the reason was that she had a mole on her neck and they say that if you move the mole up to her forehead, she will look like Ultraman. LOL. That was quite creative but the point is, weak teachers will suffer and we students can come up with all sorts of reasons.
a
Anyway back to academics, we sat for our biggest most major examination in Form 5 and that was called the 'SPM'. An exam where couples break-up and bad boys turn good just to strike a really good result in this exam - because it pretty much determines your future.
a
If you're Chinese and you get a Grade 2, you might not end up with such a bright future unless your parents are businessmen. If your Malay or lakia, its alright - you'll prolly get a scholarship to the UK if you get a Grade 2.
a
The most crucial subject to score in SPM, is Bahasa Malaysia. Because you get to pick the 6 best scores for the 9 subjects you sit for and Bahasa Malaysia is the only compulsory subject you must take into account. I fucking hated Bahasa Malaysia and the reason its made compulsory disgusted me. After form 5, you do not even speak the language, let alone helping you in your career. The only time you use it is when you direct a taxi driver in KL, but even my Burmese and Nepalese friends pick up how to direct taxi drivers after a couple of months so no big deal.
a
And Bahasa Malaysia will also confuse you. I swear i was fucking good in Chemistry in secondary school i even tuitioned my other friends for a cost - so thats how good i was. One holiday i travelled to KK with my parents and we stayed with the cousins who went to International school. One cousin asked me what subject i was really good in and i told her Chemistry. She then put a little test on me by asking me what was the scientific symbol for Sodium Chloride. I told her she was joking because i can memorize the whole table of substances and non of it is Sodium Chrolide. Well, i eventually found out that my school tought me the Bahasa Malaysia version of the substance's name - which was Natrium Klorida or some shit like that. When i went into Uni, where all the terms were in English, i struggled the hell out of matching the English and BM terms together..... its like re-learning Chemistry. So you know what i mean by confusing you?
a
The other subject i hated was History, or Sejarah because there were hundreds of names to memorize and you memorize them because you need to pass the exam. And all these were fucking long names that sounds similiar to each other. Sultan Azaludin Mahmud Shah, Sultan Mahmum Allaludin Shan, Sultan Mahmud 3... and hundreds of such names, each representating something.
a
But well, i still passed the history papre with flying colours because my mum sent me to this very reputable teacher who closer to the exam gave me 8 tip questions for History. The exam later had 4 questions, which were all identified in the 8 tip questions. He was confident enough to tell me that i could drop everything and just study the 8 questions he provided. I trusted him and it didnt go wrong.
a
And talk about tuitions, i went to tuition for Physics, Biology, Add Maths, English, Bahasa Malaysia, History, Art and Chemistry. Yes, all the fucking subjects. I had minimum 1 tuition class everyday, of the 7 days of the week. Half the week, i go for 2-3 tuition classes.
a
And this is very typical of 'A' students because it was very competitive in class and there was alot of pressure amongst all the students. We had to make sure the lowest scoring paper is still better than the best scoring paper in the 'B' class.
a
The 'F' students on the other hand come to school stoned on weed and carry a big pillow in their bags. It's a good sign that they come to school. Some of the girls get pregnant, alot of the boys get into social problems like gambling, drugs and joining the triads. But i don't blame them. They are positioned by the school to be failures. The teachers dont teach these classes... they walk in and say "masa sendiri" which means this is your own time. They are the least prioritized by the school in any aspect and they come to school everyday thinking they're stupid. They live in such a confined mindset of - I will fail.
a
Anyway, i was fortunate enough to be in the 'A' class from the start of kindy to the end of secondary school but all the knowledge i gained was all the stuff that were written in the textbooks - knew nothing beyond textbooks. We also became very passive students - students who shut up and listen and take notes. And not allowed to have an opinion.
a
I did not realize until i studied in Melbourne, where i went through culture shock for the first few months of school... maybe the whole of the first year. I was the Asian who does not have a single opinion to any subjects they discussed in class, the Asian who even with an opinion, did not know how to express it. It was a disgusting feeling but i got over it and adapted and became as expressive. I later graduated, came out to the industry and became who I am today.
a
The point is, what about those who were not as priviledged along the way?
a
The students who were profiled by the school to fail in their lives.
a
The students who were spoon-fed and do not have the initiative to live their own lives.
a
The students who were asked to shut up in class and never had a chance to express themselves and thus not go very far in their jobs.
a
a
It's been a while since i updated my blog so here I am. I've not thought of any interesting content over the last few days so i'll be blogging about a topic i discussed with a friend of mine through lunch. It's about the quality of education in Malaysia which is horrendous, provokes social segregation, racially provocative, cultivates a narrow mindset, discourages expressions and personal opinions, profiled, confusing and doomed to fail.
a
You will pick up all the points as i bring you through my true experience of education right from primary school. Pls mind my language as sometimes, the truth can be painful. But here's the ultimate truth
a
The point of writing this blog is really just a voice to criticize the quality of education in Malaysia. For the good of the country, the educational stucture must be relooked into, revamped and made competitive to world standards. And it is very critical that it be looked into as education is key in shaping a progressive society and culture, and this is crucial in a developing country like Malaysia.
a
Anyway, here goes....
a
I was enrolled into a missionary school when i was 7 for 3 reasons i believe, although i've never clarified with my parents.
a
First, the school was a 10 minutes walk from my parents office so everyday after school, I would walk with a bunch of friends to the office so our parents could avoid the massive after-school traffic. The 'bunch of friends' are sons and daughters of my parents collegues and we were made to be friends with each other through parties, beach BBQs and many other social activities our parents orgazine, so we could look out for each other in school.
a
Secondly, its a Catholic missionary school so we would pray every morning before the school served us biscuits and milo for breakfast. Im a born Catholic so my parents probably wanted me to practise the religion or at least grow up in such an environment.
a
Thirdly, it was one of the 2 missionary schools in town (the other one an anglican missionary school) that produces the more academically qualified students who will mostly graduate in a foreign university and have a relatively higher status than the majority.
a
Now I will talk about the educational system i experienced when i was in 'primary' school (term for education given to minors who are between the ages of 7 - 12) to as much as i can recall. In grade 1, because my mum knew the school principal, i was enrolled into 1A. There were many subsequent classes - 1B, 1C.... until 1F or something.
a
In grade 1, the classes were sort of profiled but not totally. Every class had a mixture of Chinese and "Iban/Malays" or what we call the "lakia". These were the 'bumiputeras' (mainlanders) whom our Chinese parents term the secondary race and they were always used as examples of the "what not to dos" like not flushing the toilet after use, or not showering at least twice a day, or digging your nose in public, or even having bad hair and skin.. and all the bad habits. You do it, your parents will call you "lakia" (And just to be fair to the "lakia"s, they called us Chinese the 'Cina Babi', or just 'Cina')
a
But, you will see that 1A will have a high ratio of Chinese over the lakias and 1F will probably have 100% lakias. This is pretty much all i can remember from 7 - 9 as I clearly recalled that most of my 'friends' (sons and daughters of my parents colleagues) were in my same class.
a
When i was 10, that was when i was in grade 4A, the classes became totally profiled. 4A will cater for the brighest students in the school, while 4F will host the not as bright. By this year, my class had almost 85% Chinese, 10% Malays and 5% Ibans and Indians. Im not implying that the 85% race were smarter but its a genuine statistic and I grew up with it.
a
In grade 4, i have a memory of an incident when a 'teacher' pinched me in the abs and eventually punched me i lost my breath for almost 1 solid minute, my face turned pale. I was punished for having an opinion to his lecture. He did it to a few of my other 'friends' and because we look out for each other, all of us will eventually get the pincher and puncher. It was a warning that in his lectures, we were to shut up, listen and take notes - not a fucking noise. Let alone an opinion.
a
In grade 6, i became a prefect. I was then very rebellious, mischevious and did not create a very good reputation for myself but i was still made a prefect because my elder brother and mum had an influence on the decision (same case when i eventually became prefect in Form 5). Anyway, besides having to wear a tie and being given an opportunity to stand at the very back during assemblies - so we boys could stare at whichever hottie and their asses - i dont recall much.
a
In 'secondary' school (term for education to teens between the ages of 13 - 17), things became more interesting.
a
In form 1 (secondary school year 1), the classes were again academically profiled. 1A will host all the students who scores all A's in their major examination in primary school (UPSR) or at least almost all A's. 1F will host students with the worst results.
a
Entering secondary school was also pretty fun for us because the school had more sports facilities - like a baseball pitch, football field, basketball court, volleyball court and so on. And sorry for stereotyping again but the basketball court + volleyball courts will always be populated by the Chinese while the lakia's play football on the field and get all muddy and stuff.
a
Form 3 was when we sit for a major examination called the PMR and this is also a very significant year for most of my schoolmates as they started to explore and found their first girlfriends and boyfriends. Speaking about this, i remembered a Chinese friend of mine, who was a prefect. He fell in love with a Malay girl who was very sweet and intelligent. He was warned by the school that doing so would set a bad example to the other students so he was given an ultimatum to drop the girlfriend or drop the post. Well at that age, most definitely, he went for the girl.
a
In Form 3 was also when our Malay history teacher instilled racial elements into her lectures. She once told the class (which had a good mixture for Christians, Muslims and Buddhists) that "only Christianity and Islam are true religions. Buddhism is statue idolization"
a
Form 3 - Form 5 was the most memorable years of all as there were many first experiences. We also got very mischevious with the 'teachers'. The better ones will earn our respect from the second he/she steps into the class while the average ones will either survive because they're hot or face the mischief from us.
a
One of our teachers, i clearly remember, was called Mr Ivan. He was in his 60's so due to the generation gap, we could hardly relate to him. He got it from us. At one event, we grinded chalk in our drawers until they turn to powder. We gather all the powder in between an A4 paper and roll it up until it looks like a cylinder. We will hold an end to our mouth and blow the chalk on his ass after he walks by our desks - he loves walking around the class. Every class, we wanted to give him like 6 dosages of powder on his ass. Well it only took 1 attempt before he found out - we were punished to stand on the table for 2 hours and chew paper.
a
Another teacher, a lady also in her 60's, was referred to as Ultraman. It took me quite a few months, after calling her that, before i got curious why she was called "Ultraman". And the reason was that she had a mole on her neck and they say that if you move the mole up to her forehead, she will look like Ultraman. LOL. That was quite creative but the point is, weak teachers will suffer and we students can come up with all sorts of reasons.
a
Anyway back to academics, we sat for our biggest most major examination in Form 5 and that was called the 'SPM'. An exam where couples break-up and bad boys turn good just to strike a really good result in this exam - because it pretty much determines your future.
a
If you're Chinese and you get a Grade 2, you might not end up with such a bright future unless your parents are businessmen. If your Malay or lakia, its alright - you'll prolly get a scholarship to the UK if you get a Grade 2.
a
The most crucial subject to score in SPM, is Bahasa Malaysia. Because you get to pick the 6 best scores for the 9 subjects you sit for and Bahasa Malaysia is the only compulsory subject you must take into account. I fucking hated Bahasa Malaysia and the reason its made compulsory disgusted me. After form 5, you do not even speak the language, let alone helping you in your career. The only time you use it is when you direct a taxi driver in KL, but even my Burmese and Nepalese friends pick up how to direct taxi drivers after a couple of months so no big deal.
a
And Bahasa Malaysia will also confuse you. I swear i was fucking good in Chemistry in secondary school i even tuitioned my other friends for a cost - so thats how good i was. One holiday i travelled to KK with my parents and we stayed with the cousins who went to International school. One cousin asked me what subject i was really good in and i told her Chemistry. She then put a little test on me by asking me what was the scientific symbol for Sodium Chloride. I told her she was joking because i can memorize the whole table of substances and non of it is Sodium Chrolide. Well, i eventually found out that my school tought me the Bahasa Malaysia version of the substance's name - which was Natrium Klorida or some shit like that. When i went into Uni, where all the terms were in English, i struggled the hell out of matching the English and BM terms together..... its like re-learning Chemistry. So you know what i mean by confusing you?
a
The other subject i hated was History, or Sejarah because there were hundreds of names to memorize and you memorize them because you need to pass the exam. And all these were fucking long names that sounds similiar to each other. Sultan Azaludin Mahmud Shah, Sultan Mahmum Allaludin Shan, Sultan Mahmud 3... and hundreds of such names, each representating something.
a
But well, i still passed the history papre with flying colours because my mum sent me to this very reputable teacher who closer to the exam gave me 8 tip questions for History. The exam later had 4 questions, which were all identified in the 8 tip questions. He was confident enough to tell me that i could drop everything and just study the 8 questions he provided. I trusted him and it didnt go wrong.
a
And talk about tuitions, i went to tuition for Physics, Biology, Add Maths, English, Bahasa Malaysia, History, Art and Chemistry. Yes, all the fucking subjects. I had minimum 1 tuition class everyday, of the 7 days of the week. Half the week, i go for 2-3 tuition classes.
a
And this is very typical of 'A' students because it was very competitive in class and there was alot of pressure amongst all the students. We had to make sure the lowest scoring paper is still better than the best scoring paper in the 'B' class.
a
The 'F' students on the other hand come to school stoned on weed and carry a big pillow in their bags. It's a good sign that they come to school. Some of the girls get pregnant, alot of the boys get into social problems like gambling, drugs and joining the triads. But i don't blame them. They are positioned by the school to be failures. The teachers dont teach these classes... they walk in and say "masa sendiri" which means this is your own time. They are the least prioritized by the school in any aspect and they come to school everyday thinking they're stupid. They live in such a confined mindset of - I will fail.
a
Anyway, i was fortunate enough to be in the 'A' class from the start of kindy to the end of secondary school but all the knowledge i gained was all the stuff that were written in the textbooks - knew nothing beyond textbooks. We also became very passive students - students who shut up and listen and take notes. And not allowed to have an opinion.
a
I did not realize until i studied in Melbourne, where i went through culture shock for the first few months of school... maybe the whole of the first year. I was the Asian who does not have a single opinion to any subjects they discussed in class, the Asian who even with an opinion, did not know how to express it. It was a disgusting feeling but i got over it and adapted and became as expressive. I later graduated, came out to the industry and became who I am today.
a
The point is, what about those who were not as priviledged along the way?
a
The students who were profiled by the school to fail in their lives.
a
The students who were spoon-fed and do not have the initiative to live their own lives.
a
The students who were asked to shut up in class and never had a chance to express themselves and thus not go very far in their jobs.
a
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Im a Standout in Life
a
Im a Standout in Life
Nuffnang: 
d
a
a
a
a
a
a
For that im a standout.
Im a Standout in Life
a
Im a Standout in Life
a
Nuffnang:
Embed the image below into your blog post. (image below). 5 random bloggers who are spotted with this image in their blog will be given a Nintendo DS Lite each just for being lucky!
Nuffnang: Tell us how outstanding you are in your blog. Tell us what a standout you are in your life by posting a blog post blog titled 'I'm a Standout in Life'. You can tell us how you can repeat the alphabet from back to front easily, count the distance from each planet in the solar system using your own formula, how you manage to lick your own elbow, ability to jump and eat chips at the same time. It could be anything! Tell us in text, pictures or/and videos! It's entirely up to you on how you want to standout!!
a
a
I am a standout in life because my head seems to be sticking out all the time - so i literally stand out. Imagine a papaya tree sticking out of a football field.... not that my head looks like a papaya tree but it will stand out. 
a
a
a
Im a standout in life because i can do a split 4 feet above ground level.
da
a
Im a standout in life because over the years I spent in Australia during my Uni days, i picked up animal telephaty and i practised it on wild kangaroos. Having mastered the skill over the years, i served voluntarily for an wildlife NGO taming wild Kangaroos.
aa
a
Im a standout in life because ive seen through time more than anyone else. A Bulgarian mate of mine invented a device that allows you to time travel. I volunteered as a white mice in the troubleshooting stages of the device and I chose to travel to Germany back in the 1940's but it took me to a deserty gold mine in the 30's.
a
I coincidentally met myself from the past generation to much amazement, but he didnt look too different from the me of the current generation. I saw that he was Chinese and found him in a Gold mine in Ballarat.... he must have been a very successful businessman.
a
a
a
I also had the opportunity to take Raggae to Rome through a Jamaican mate of mine who's a rasta of Jah. The gladiators loved it so much they all grew fat from smoking too much pot.
I also had the opportunity to take Raggae to Rome through a Jamaican mate of mine who's a rasta of Jah. The gladiators loved it so much they all grew fat from smoking too much pot.
aa
a
For that im a standout.
Monday, May 18, 2009
The makings of an UMNO politician
a
This is some hillarious shit i picked up from Malaysia Today.
The makings of an Umno politician
An old kampung imam had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. The Holy Quran.
2. A fifty ringgit note.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
'I'll just hide behind the door," the old imam said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the holy book, he's going to be an imam like me, and what a blessing that would be!"
"If he picks up the fifty ringgit note, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too."
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and God, what a shame that would be."
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womaniser."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Holy Book and placed it under his arm. He picked up the fifty ringgit note and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.
"God have mercy," the old imam disgustedly whispered.
"He's going to be an Umno politician!"
This is some hillarious shit i picked up from Malaysia Today.
The makings of an Umno politician
An old kampung imam had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. The Holy Quran.
2. A fifty ringgit note.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
'I'll just hide behind the door," the old imam said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the holy book, he's going to be an imam like me, and what a blessing that would be!"
"If he picks up the fifty ringgit note, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too."
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and God, what a shame that would be."
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womaniser."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Holy Book and placed it under his arm. He picked up the fifty ringgit note and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.
"God have mercy," the old imam disgustedly whispered.
"He's going to be an Umno politician!"
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Rihanna Nude - CLIMAX of a publicity stunt
Now here's some Sunday evening entertainment.
Some 3 months ago, a day before Valentines Day, Rihanna was scheduled to show her big titties and sexy legs in ironically Malaysia, the land of extreme conservatives. Tickets were on sale, Celcom (as usual) inked a 'title sponsor' deal with the event company and advertised and PRed the hell out of it because they have an endless supply of marketing dollars.
When the news came to my ears, i was quite surprised that the government actually permitted this concert as they have hardly came in terms before with artistes who perform with their panties on stage.
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However not long after i pondered, PAS youth - extremists of extreme conservativeness - called for a press conference to boycott the Rihana concert to "protest against the offensive and suffering of the Palestinian people" WTF?
PAS youth also claimed that Israel was funded by the American public including Rihanna who lives in California. And the concert can be construed as supporting Israel's offensive in the Gaza.
So besides being extremely conservative, their ideology as you can see, is also pretty fucked up. BTW, they have also been endorsing the enforcement of Islamic laws in Malaysia, like chopping of your hands if you were caught stealing..... Fuck, if they would EVER come to power, id be sailing like a refugee to Singapore.
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Anyway, just a month away to the Rihanna concert, hype was massive but so was PAS Youth's boycott call winning alot of press coverage.
It looked really messed up for Rihanna. I mean, I wouldn't wanna perform in Malaysia on the eve of Valentines day and risk a suicide bomber running into the stadium when im performing on stage. It's just totally not worth it.
Coicidentally enough, Rihanna had to cancel her trip to Malaysia because she got beaten by her then (and probably now too) boyfriend Chris Brown. After the news was released, they then cruised to a secret island and toasted champaigne to Valentines day, leaving the world thinking that they were filing law suits during valentines day.
Some pictures were released but the bruises that showed were JUST SO CONVINCING.
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So after eluding the Malaysian concert, Rihanna and Chris Brown had to mend their "broken relationship" in public so they could freely hold hands and kiss in public again. So some hints were released to the paparazzis and within a day, news went out that Rihanna were in terms again with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. She thought it was that easy.
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Not very long after, mother of the world Oprah Winfrey issued a press statement warning Rihanna of her action quoting "A man who beats his wife once, wont hesitate to do it a second time"
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So to shut her up, Rihanna pulls of what i call the culmination of a - "Topless camwhoring pictures leaked" - publicity stunt to achieve 2 things.
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1. Popularity via increased sexual desire (leveraging the success of Paris Hilton) and
2. That she's still in good terms with Chris Brown (the lacy pink mohawk)
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Man, she's got hot pierced titties.
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And sizzling ass.
Some 3 months ago, a day before Valentines Day, Rihanna was scheduled to show her big titties and sexy legs in ironically Malaysia, the land of extreme conservatives. Tickets were on sale, Celcom (as usual) inked a 'title sponsor' deal with the event company and advertised and PRed the hell out of it because they have an endless supply of marketing dollars.
When the news came to my ears, i was quite surprised that the government actually permitted this concert as they have hardly came in terms before with artistes who perform with their panties on stage.
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However not long after i pondered, PAS youth - extremists of extreme conservativeness - called for a press conference to boycott the Rihana concert to "protest against the offensive and suffering of the Palestinian people" WTF?
PAS youth also claimed that Israel was funded by the American public including Rihanna who lives in California. And the concert can be construed as supporting Israel's offensive in the Gaza.
So besides being extremely conservative, their ideology as you can see, is also pretty fucked up. BTW, they have also been endorsing the enforcement of Islamic laws in Malaysia, like chopping of your hands if you were caught stealing..... Fuck, if they would EVER come to power, id be sailing like a refugee to Singapore.
uu
u
Anyway, just a month away to the Rihanna concert, hype was massive but so was PAS Youth's boycott call winning alot of press coverage.
It looked really messed up for Rihanna. I mean, I wouldn't wanna perform in Malaysia on the eve of Valentines day and risk a suicide bomber running into the stadium when im performing on stage. It's just totally not worth it.
Coicidentally enough, Rihanna had to cancel her trip to Malaysia because she got beaten by her then (and probably now too) boyfriend Chris Brown. After the news was released, they then cruised to a secret island and toasted champaigne to Valentines day, leaving the world thinking that they were filing law suits during valentines day.
Some pictures were released but the bruises that showed were JUST SO CONVINCING.
jj
j
So after eluding the Malaysian concert, Rihanna and Chris Brown had to mend their "broken relationship" in public so they could freely hold hands and kiss in public again. So some hints were released to the paparazzis and within a day, news went out that Rihanna were in terms again with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. She thought it was that easy.
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Not very long after, mother of the world Oprah Winfrey issued a press statement warning Rihanna of her action quoting "A man who beats his wife once, wont hesitate to do it a second time"
a
So to shut her up, Rihanna pulls of what i call the culmination of a - "Topless camwhoring pictures leaked" - publicity stunt to achieve 2 things.
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1. Popularity via increased sexual desire (leveraging the success of Paris Hilton) and
2. That she's still in good terms with Chris Brown (the lacy pink mohawk)
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Man, she's got hot pierced titties.
aAnd sizzling ass.
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The pink mohawk.
Pictures taken from gutteruncensored
Pictures taken from gutteruncensored
Second "Swine Flu" / H1N1 case confirmed
The health authorities have confirmed that a second Malaysian has come down with the influenza A(H1N1) virus. The patient is now warded at the Penang Hospital.
The new case, a woman, is a friend of first patient and both landed in Malaysia on the same Malaysia Airlines flight MH091 from Newark, the United States, two days ago.
The first case involved a 21-year-old male student who started having fever, sore throat and body aches. He has been admitted to Sungai Buloh Hospital.
Yesterday, director-general of Health Tan Sri Dr Mohd Ismail Merican said all passengers on the flight should call the ministry at 03-8881-0200 or 03-8881-0300 for follow-up action.
He also said the first patient had been given anti-viral treatment and was in stable condition.
He said the Health Ministry had taken preventive and control measures, including contact investigation into the case and informing the student’s family about his H1N1 infection and his contact history with the passengers and crew members on the same flight.
He said the public should not be unduly worried about the influenza A(H1N1) situation in the country.
The ministry, with the cooperation of all the relevant agencies, was intensifying monitoring to ensure proactive measures were taken to safeguard the health of the people, he added.
- The Malaysian Insider
The new case, a woman, is a friend of first patient and both landed in Malaysia on the same Malaysia Airlines flight MH091 from Newark, the United States, two days ago.
The first case involved a 21-year-old male student who started having fever, sore throat and body aches. He has been admitted to Sungai Buloh Hospital.
Yesterday, director-general of Health Tan Sri Dr Mohd Ismail Merican said all passengers on the flight should call the ministry at 03-8881-0200 or 03-8881-0300 for follow-up action.
He also said the first patient had been given anti-viral treatment and was in stable condition.
He said the Health Ministry had taken preventive and control measures, including contact investigation into the case and informing the student’s family about his H1N1 infection and his contact history with the passengers and crew members on the same flight.
He said the public should not be unduly worried about the influenza A(H1N1) situation in the country.
The ministry, with the cooperation of all the relevant agencies, was intensifying monitoring to ensure proactive measures were taken to safeguard the health of the people, he added.
- The Malaysian Insider
Yesterday, director-general of Health Tan Sri Dr Mohd Ismail Merican said all passengers on the flight should call the ministry at 03-8881-0200 or 03-8881-0300 for follow-up action.
WTF? What The Fuck?
Dude, why dont you just publish the names and faces of all the passengers who boarded that flight on the media? That way, you have the public as your eyes. When you publish their faces in the media, you can be assured that the public will memorize those faces to make sure they dont get close to them. It works the other way too - if they see these faces in public, they will report it in.
So it shouldnt be "all passengers on the flights should call in". It should be "all people must call in when you see these passengers"
Im keen to see how the government responds to this H1N1 crisis. I bet the government still has alot of resources committed to the political turmoil in Perak but they need to realize that in the bigger picture, the H1N1 crisis has a far bigger threat... If not contained, it can escalate to a national crisis.
Anyway, if you know of anyone who flew in from Newark (US) two days ago, pls report his location but stay away from him... or wear a mask at least.Friday, May 15, 2009
Switching-off for the WEEKENDS!!!
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It's been an amazing week for me... it seemed like i did 3 weeks worth of work in a week. Anyway, what i do before i completely "switch-off" from work is sing this song.
If you wanna try, the lyrics are on it and try sing it at the same pitch.
If you're feeling like you've done 6 weeks worth, then you prolly wanna roll it twice.
It's been an amazing week for me... it seemed like i did 3 weeks worth of work in a week. Anyway, what i do before i completely "switch-off" from work is sing this song.
If you wanna try, the lyrics are on it and try sing it at the same pitch.
If you're feeling like you've done 6 weeks worth, then you prolly wanna roll it twice.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Mat Rempits made 'fehmes' on Hitz.fm
The point is, that was stupid. That was an irresponsible stunt which could have adverse consequences. Complete negligence of risk management.
Anyway, Hitz.fm on one weekday morning during primetime (breakfast show with JJ & Ean), when i was cruising on federal highway to a client meeting, featured 2 MAT REMPITs in the station and they were live on air.
The motive of the program, hosted by JJ & Ean, was to help the MAT REMPITs reconcile with the society - so they can be accepted back in the society, given a job and stop being a nusance to the society. Not realizing that it could deliver the wrong message to the ones who are 'less bright'
Before i proceed, no offense but i LOVE Hitz.fm, otherwise i wouldn't have heard of this. I love the music they play (except weekend midnights because that's all donkey trance) but not exactly all the content they run on the breakfast show.
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Im not saying that JJ & Ean are dumb monkeys trying to pull each others nipples (for you will fucking hate me), but im saying i dont necessarily agree with all the content they run in the breakfast show. Most of the times, they are hillarious with their lame jokes it can make my morning but sometimes, i'll just tune out immediately.
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Back to the topic - to the ones who are 'less bright' it could be an appeal to be featured on the no.1 English radio station, prime time during the breakfast show. It's like a 20 minutes window to fame - to become the 'talked-about' mat rempits in town which can pick up chics at a 200% higher success ratio.
They could also misinterpret the message and think its OK to continue to be a mat rempit as the No.1 radio station is endorsing them and asking the society to accept them.
Mat Rempit, "hmmmm... maybe they like our demonstations on the road, it could be a tourist attraction. Maybe we should demand money for this!?!... we should go see Malaysia Tourism or their media agency"
One of the statements from the mat rempits, live on national radio - Hitz.fm, was that mat rempits have proper training for the stunts they perform on the roads. And these trainings were actually conducted not on safe, no-traffic tracks but on the highways itself - like industrial training. The statement was meant to defend a statement question from the DJ reflecting the harm they have caused for the stunts they pull-off on the roads.
So to the 'less bright' ones, it could sound like an endorsement that their stunts are justified with proper 'industrial training'.
Anyway, i dug in a bit more about 'MAT REMPITs' and they're actually pretty insane creatures who dont value life. Not only they dont value their own lives but also the lives of all the innocent people around them.
I've also discovered that the stunts they pull off have got a western (or at least a western media) influence/touch. But they "Malaysianize" the stunts. The wellfare in Malaysia doesnt allow mat rempits to afford junkyard cars - even that is too unaffordable for the mat rempits. So they need to adapt to the situation.
So instead of this...
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They do it the Malaysian way.... sedia... awas... JOM kita pergi mati!!! brooom brroooom brrooom.
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The "mat sallehs" in Fast & Furious carried fucking HOT chics in minis and skin tights on their rides. Here in Malaysia, the mat rempits go
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"Fuck that, i'll show what i can do with my bitch. I can give her 10 times the adrenaline u give to your bitch. And if i do this, the roads will get a free show of my bitches butt cheek - another tourism activity "
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They are so proud of their stunts some of them hire professional photographers to shoot them so they could show their grandsons how brave they were during their younger years.
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There is even a blog i found, which writes about the life of a MAT REMPIT. They have either embraced the social media (so now blogs can also reach mat rempits) or they have their lives being written about, by fans.
But as much as they think its glamorous, they are despised by the society. They are a nuisance, a menace and a pollution to our country's image. Ppl hate them so much they curse mat rempits to turn into turn into monkeys....
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Another blogger even wanted to put a curse on them and turn them into weird, platnet-of-the-ape looking creatures like this ... funny lol
Anyway, Hitz.fm on one weekday morning during primetime (breakfast show with JJ & Ean), when i was cruising on federal highway to a client meeting, featured 2 MAT REMPITs in the station and they were live on air.
The motive of the program, hosted by JJ & Ean, was to help the MAT REMPITs reconcile with the society - so they can be accepted back in the society, given a job and stop being a nusance to the society. Not realizing that it could deliver the wrong message to the ones who are 'less bright'
Before i proceed, no offense but i LOVE Hitz.fm, otherwise i wouldn't have heard of this. I love the music they play (except weekend midnights because that's all donkey trance) but not exactly all the content they run on the breakfast show.
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Im not saying that JJ & Ean are dumb monkeys trying to pull each others nipples (for you will fucking hate me), but im saying i dont necessarily agree with all the content they run in the breakfast show. Most of the times, they are hillarious with their lame jokes it can make my morning but sometimes, i'll just tune out immediately.
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Back to the topic - to the ones who are 'less bright' it could be an appeal to be featured on the no.1 English radio station, prime time during the breakfast show. It's like a 20 minutes window to fame - to become the 'talked-about' mat rempits in town which can pick up chics at a 200% higher success ratio.
They could also misinterpret the message and think its OK to continue to be a mat rempit as the No.1 radio station is endorsing them and asking the society to accept them.
Mat Rempit, "hmmmm... maybe they like our demonstations on the road, it could be a tourist attraction. Maybe we should demand money for this!?!... we should go see Malaysia Tourism or their media agency"
One of the statements from the mat rempits, live on national radio - Hitz.fm, was that mat rempits have proper training for the stunts they perform on the roads. And these trainings were actually conducted not on safe, no-traffic tracks but on the highways itself - like industrial training. The statement was meant to defend a statement question from the DJ reflecting the harm they have caused for the stunts they pull-off on the roads.
So to the 'less bright' ones, it could sound like an endorsement that their stunts are justified with proper 'industrial training'.
Anyway, i dug in a bit more about 'MAT REMPITs' and they're actually pretty insane creatures who dont value life. Not only they dont value their own lives but also the lives of all the innocent people around them.
I've also discovered that the stunts they pull off have got a western (or at least a western media) influence/touch. But they "Malaysianize" the stunts. The wellfare in Malaysia doesnt allow mat rempits to afford junkyard cars - even that is too unaffordable for the mat rempits. So they need to adapt to the situation.
So instead of this...
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They do it the Malaysian way.... sedia... awas... JOM kita pergi mati!!! brooom brroooom brrooom.
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Remember what Vin Diesel did with his muscle? He pushed it so hard the upper part of the car lifted into the air from traction created from the back tires.
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Mat rempit thinks that the "mat sallehs" are chicken shit, they do it in their cars. "So what? if it doesnt work out, the car falls flat back on the ground - takade hal leh?"
So they Malaysianize it, increase it by a notch, and live up to "MALAYSIA BOLEH"
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The "mat sallehs" in Fast & Furious carried fucking HOT chics in minis and skin tights on their rides. Here in Malaysia, the mat rempits go
a
"Fuck that, i'll show what i can do with my bitch. I can give her 10 times the adrenaline u give to your bitch. And if i do this, the roads will get a free show of my bitches butt cheek - another tourism activity "
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They are so proud of their stunts some of them hire professional photographers to shoot them so they could show their grandsons how brave they were during their younger years.
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There is even a blog i found, which writes about the life of a MAT REMPIT. They have either embraced the social media (so now blogs can also reach mat rempits) or they have their lives being written about, by fans.
But as much as they think its glamorous, they are despised by the society. They are a nuisance, a menace and a pollution to our country's image. Ppl hate them so much they curse mat rempits to turn into turn into monkeys....
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Another blogger even wanted to put a curse on them and turn them into weird, platnet-of-the-ape looking creatures like this ... funny lol
So summary is, stop encouraging the mat rempits. Stop endorsing them, stop trying to get the society to accept them, stop putting them on national radio. Arrest them, confiscate their motorbikes and curse the mat rempit culture. Make the culture so fucking hated, they will be forced to adapt into the 'acceptable' culture.
Monday, May 11, 2009
HOT weather tips
Today was a scorcher! and it's been amazingly hot for the last 3 weeks in fact. The westerners are prolly singing in joy in their bikinis basked in hot sand but i totally hate the heat. Alot of us Asians even fall sick in the dry spell.
Temperatures in Klang Valley recorded 36C last Friday and the Meteorological Department has just reported that the heatwave will persist until September, due to the change of wind direction during the inter-monsoon season.
Its quite sad that in such dry conditions, all the authorities could say is "people are visiting sunway lagoon to cool off from the heat" http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/5/11/nation/3876183&sec=nation
So today, i wish to attempt to offer advise for the hot spell, so we could all stay fit. So here goes...
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1. Take cool showers
http://chao-vietnam.blogspot.com/2007/06/malaysian-and-vietnamese-caught-on-spy.html
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3. Use air-conditioning
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4. Wear cool clothing
You dont need to be as hot but you can try out the clothing.
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5. Avoid unecessary outdoor activities
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But like that...
7. Dont under estimate a fire
So dont play with fire, girls....
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8. Dont eat heaty food... ex. Nasi Kandar
Temperatures in Klang Valley recorded 36C last Friday and the Meteorological Department has just reported that the heatwave will persist until September, due to the change of wind direction during the inter-monsoon season.
Its quite sad that in such dry conditions, all the authorities could say is "people are visiting sunway lagoon to cool off from the heat" http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/5/11/nation/3876183&sec=nation
So today, i wish to attempt to offer advise for the hot spell, so we could all stay fit. So here goes...
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1. Take cool showers
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When i was browsing through the net for "cool shower" pictures, i actually came across this very interesting piece of news. It was about a landlord of a house in Taman Bullion Mewah (Sentul) who installed cams in his bathrooms, recording naked footages of 19 college girls.http://chao-vietnam.blogspot.com/2007/06/malaysian-and-vietnamese-caught-on-spy.html
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2. Avoid direct suna
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3. Use air-conditioning
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4. Wear cool clothing
You dont need to be as hot but you can try out the clothing.
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5. Avoid unecessary outdoor activities
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6. Drink alot of fluids
Not like that tho ...
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But like that...
7. Dont under estimate a fire
So dont play with fire, girls....
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8. Dont eat heaty food... ex. Nasi Kandar
Good Luck!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Congratulations to all my Perakian friends...
You now live in a FAILED STATE.
If case you have not heard -
For the first time in the country’s history, the police transgressed its jurisdiction and made its way into your state assembly to physically remove an officer of the legislature, Sivakumar.
If it still doesnt sound disgusting enough to you, have a look at the speaker of your state assembly being dragged out like a dead duck.
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Easy task for you macha, focus and just give enough rope for the BN people to hang themselves.
If case you have not heard -
For the first time in the country’s history, the police transgressed its jurisdiction and made its way into your state assembly to physically remove an officer of the legislature, Sivakumar.
If it still doesnt sound disgusting enough to you, have a look at the speaker of your state assembly being dragged out like a dead duck.
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Fortunately enough, Sivakumar is still firm on his stand - he still sees himself as the legit state assembly speaker.
Siva: "Now look at my palms, as long as its still fairer than my face, i am still speaker"
Des: "Yes, it will always be fairer than your face (just like mine) so good on you macha, stay focused"
Fortunately enough, Sivakumar is still firm on his stand - he still sees himself as the legit state assembly speaker.
Siva: "Now look at my palms, as long as its still fairer than my face, i am still speaker"
Des: "Yes, it will always be fairer than your face (just like mine) so good on you macha, stay focused"
Easy task for you macha, focus and just give enough rope for the BN people to hang themselves.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
How to be a top blogger
I was posted a question in my chatbox on how to be a top blogger. Very subjective, but had a thinker about it and thought the answers are actually pretty interesting. So here goes ...
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For more cuteness, go to http://www.fourfeetnine.com/
9. Camwhore
It just really doesnt matter what people think of you, just pose like all the boys in the world will dump their girlfriends to touch you.
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1. Post indecent pictures of politicians or sons of politicians
Whether the pictures are genuine or photoshoped, it doesnt matter just make them look real (Pictures are taken from http://www.gutteruncensored.com/)
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Tip #2: Find a picture of a politician exposing some midrift skin (which is absolutely normal & nothing controversial). So go to a porn site and look for a picture of a prositute posing on a bedsheet that is similiar to the politician's (or you can always photoshop the bedsheet) and post both the pictures on your blog and link them up.
Then you will also own a top blog in Malaysia like http://www.chedet.com/ . Claimed to be read by more than 2million Malaysians. It is authored by our ex-PM Mahathir Mohamad.
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Once in a while, pick a fight with the most popular blogger in town. Pick a fight so big it fucking involves lawyers and shit. Just bitch the hell out of her and make it sound like she fucks all the boys in town.
Tip #2: Find a picture of a politician exposing some midrift skin (which is absolutely normal & nothing controversial). So go to a porn site and look for a picture of a prositute posing on a bedsheet that is similiar to the politician's (or you can always photoshop the bedsheet) and post both the pictures on your blog and link them up.
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Gutteruncensored (formerly known as gutterpost) is one of the most popular blogs read by Malaysians. I guess the general population of Malaysia is pretty sexually deprived due to practising very conservative cultures. This can be proven by the top sought for keyword on Google from citizens of Kelantan, which are predominantly Malays. The keyword is 'SEX'.
Gutteruncensored (formerly known as gutterpost) is one of the most popular blogs read by Malaysians. I guess the general population of Malaysia is pretty sexually deprived due to practising very conservative cultures. This can be proven by the top sought for keyword on Google from citizens of Kelantan, which are predominantly Malays. The keyword is 'SEX'.
So in summary, write about sex - make sure you have at least 100 'sex' words on every blog posting, take or find naked pictures of women (preferably with pink nipples) and try and relate them to Malaysian politicians or something. Then bingo, you will be top blogger in no time, money back guarantee.
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a2. Create controversy
Acuse the Prime Minister / King / General / President of your country for being involved in a murder of a beautiful woman, sign a statutory declaration to give your claim a boost and take no bribes. Even if its USD5million + 42 virgins at your pleasure.
If you get locked-up for any reason, go on a food strike and let hundreds of people gather in protest for you.
Look controversial, sound controversial (you can start by calling yourself by your initials), and make everything that is typed out of your fingers controversial to the general Malaysian population.
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mt.m2day.org or Malaysia Today is visited by millions of Malaysian netizens. One of the most, if not the most, popular blogs in Malaysia which is authored by a Malaysian.
Pls do this at your own responsibility
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3. Rule the country for min 20 years, pass it on to an incapable succesor (preferably someone who falls asleep easily) and criticize the hell out of him. And not to forget his son-in-law (whos preferably an Oxford graduate) - just throw corruption charges at him and make his every success look like it was bribed.
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3. Rule the country for min 20 years, pass it on to an incapable succesor (preferably someone who falls asleep easily) and criticize the hell out of him. And not to forget his son-in-law (whos preferably an Oxford graduate) - just throw corruption charges at him and make his every success look like it was bribed.
Then you will also own a top blog in Malaysia like http://www.chedet.com/ . Claimed to be read by more than 2million Malaysians. It is authored by our ex-PM Mahathir Mohamad.
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The top 3 are ways to get into TIER 1 (min 1 million visitors / month)
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The following 2 will bring you to TIER 2 (min 10,000 visitors / day)
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4. Be a funny and likeable character- Make funny parodies (of the jaiho dance for example), Create funny ads (like walk into a McD store dressed up as Sadam Hussein), Touch boobs of transverts and blog about it or even do a horny pose in a POOH outfit.
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http://www.kennysia.com/ will be a good reference for you.
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5. Modify yourself, whether its make-up or plastic surgery, and make all your features the dream come true features - the features that girls will die for and guys will climb a mountain and swim across a sea to touch
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And you know, do the Hollywood stuff - carry a puppy in your hands, put on some MJ sunnies, expose min 1/2 your boobs and 95% of your thighs.
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Once in a while, pick a fight with the most popular blogger in town. Pick a fight so big it fucking involves lawyers and shit. Just bitch the hell out of her and make it sound like she fucks all the boys in town.
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Now the following will help you achieve a TIER 3 status, which is 2 - 10k readers a day.
Now the following will help you achieve a TIER 3 status, which is 2 - 10k readers a day.
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6. Create a business (preferably at a very young age), make it real succesful and profitable, have people call you "asia's young entrepreneur of the year" and fall SOOOOOOOOOOOO in love with your girlfriend (who is preferably someone who works with one of your business partners)
This is the perfect example: http://www.timothytiah.blogspot.com/
This is the perfect example: http://www.timothytiah.blogspot.com/
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7. Transformation
You've seen Transformers right? So i dont need to explain whats transformation. Its like this -
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Make sure you join a talent hunt to get you some publicity. If you've already built some traffic on your blog, the better, than it gives the organizer pressure to eliminate you as he might wanna leverage your blog to generate some PR for his talent hunt contest.
Make sure you join a talent hunt to get you some publicity. If you've already built some traffic on your blog, the better, than it gives the organizer pressure to eliminate you as he might wanna leverage your blog to generate some PR for his talent hunt contest.
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8. Be cute
Be cute, dress cute, look cute, pose cute, whatever you do, just look cute. So cute hungry lions will stop to stare at you (and not eat you up) before they walk away and look for something they dont mind not seeing anymore.
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Also try to use wtf alot and use cute expressions like T___T, WuWu, and stuff like that i really cant think of.
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For more cuteness, go to http://www.fourfeetnine.com/
9. Camwhore
It just really doesnt matter what people think of you, just pose like all the boys in the world will dump their girlfriends to touch you.
So there you go, 9 ways of how to be a top blogger in town. Good luck!
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