The DMAM Awards

Today, i attended an awards ceremony for direct marketing campaigns, which i was quite eager to attend since ive heard of it but never attended. So you know, very curious. And the invite said its the most prestigious something something... awards ceremony.

I recall the last 3 advertising award ceremonies i attended - 2 MSAs & 1 Effies, it was all prestigious and grand, ppl came in suites, like everyone - if you come in a long sleeve shirt, then you're a fucking china man no know how to dressie.

Anyway, so i came to the office all dressed up with a coat and tie hanging in my car this morning, but i was advised not to overdress at the ceremony as its "DMAM"... hmmm fucking fishy.

So i went just with my long sleeve shirt, still worried ill be underdressed (cos i've had a bad experience once) but then less worried coz the guy who went with me was wearing snickers so at least i can still stand behind him.. AHAHHA

ANYWAY...... when i arrived i knew i was quite safe... some of the boys.. no alot of them were wearing tshirts with worn off jeans and unbranded snickers.

Now, the food - we had rice which had alot of grains stuck together. The kind you need to break with your fork. We had food in the middle - 5 kinds and all very little in quantity everyone didnt have enough to eat because they only served us dinner at 9:45PM and because we were incredibly starving - otherwise we would have skipped.

The varieties - unfresh prawn masak merah, dry rendang beef, fried pineapple, sweet and sour cold storage fish fillet.

The award categories were also the strangest. They had like:
- Best direct email marketing campaign - flat email
- Best direct email marketing campaign - dimensional email
- Best direct email marketing campaign -blast to less than 5,000
- Best direct email marketing campaign -blast to less than 1,000

Some categories had like 3 merit awards and 3 bronze awards... but no silver and gold.. WTF

When an agency wins, they all fuckin bang their metal forks, spoons, knives or whatever metal cutlery they have can find on the tray in the middle (which served food) which is also metal. its like hundreds of pencil-huge nails falling on a metal floor... fucking barbaric.

And they all jump in the air and scream like bitches and punch their hands all around and like fucking just won a bentley or something

And the award winners were those boys i saw on my way in... t shirt, old jeans, snickers, untidy long hair....

And i will not talk about who presented the awards.

I sound really gay but i think i just had to document this.